Saturday, 11 August 2012

911: My Balls Won't Move

So this is my first of what could be many posts about my job as a 911 Dispatcher. I'm at work right now, and this call came in earlier.
Me: 9-1-1, what's the address of the emergency?
Caller: Yes, well, it is a bit of an emergency.
Me: Okay sir, where are you?
Caller: Well, I'm at my place here in _________.
(plus my questions to get his name & phone number - sounds to be an older gentleman. We'll just call him Joe)
Me: Okay Joe, tell me exactly what happened.
Joe: Well, they just won't move. It's my balls. I was trying to give myself an enema, and I did something wrong and it won't work, and now my balls won't move. I didn't know who to call.
Me: You did the right thing by calling. Just stay on the line and we'll talk with the ambulance dispatcher. Don't hang up, okay?
Joe: I was thinking they could maybe just send a nurse over here, you know?
Me: It's okay Joe, we'll get you some help.

I listened to the recording afterward, and I *think* he was actually saying bowels, not balls! Poor guy! It really sounded like balls though! Either way, hopefully the paramedics got everything straightened out for Joe :)


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